Tuesday, June 17, 2014

水冷扇 Cooler


這兩天還在適應剛買的cooler,放哪邊比較涼,
因為cooler也是電扇的一種,需要放在通風地方,
最後移到了房門口,直接與一樓門外空氣對流。
老公每天都會買兩大塊冰塊,
一塊放在飲水器裡,水就會變涼,
一塊放在水桶,等冰塊融化後加到cooler裡面,
吹出來的風差不多接近冷氣的涼度,好舒服。
不過白天室外溫度過高,還是很難涼起來,
但是晚上就很舒服,
第一次,和老公睡覺時沒有流得滿身大汗,
兩個人都一覺到天明。
小馬也乖乖地沒有作怪,
他應該也很舒服吧,
我想。我看著老公第一次睡得這麼舒服,心裡很欣慰,
早知道他一開始要求時,
我不一直想著要省錢,早點說好就好,
讓他每天都汗流夾背的睡覺,真的很心疼。


這一台Super Asia Jet Cool 3000,價錢約台幣2400左右,
老公說這是巴基斯坦第一廠牌的cooler,
裡面放大概寶特瓶大瓶十二瓶水進去,它就會開始運轉,
主要是靠水讓吹出來的風變涼,沒有加水也可以運轉,

雖然沒有像冷氣那麼涼,但是比電扇涼多了,也強多了。

Monday, June 16, 2014

廚房裡的壁虎


因為一樓廚房水槽排水有困難,所以我已經很久沒使用廚房水槽了,
所有東西都是拿到二樓浴室去洗,
一樓放了一些寶特瓶,裡面有儲水,方便洗手用,
洗手時偶而會在水槽洗。
但自從廚房水槽不時會有壁虎在裡面爬行,

我對我們家廚房充滿了懼怕。
前不久有一隻小壁虎又落到水槽,牠爬不出來,
我煮茶時聽到水槽有聲音,覺得怕怕的。
跟老公說,老公說不要理牠。
每次煮茶時只要想到旁邊水槽裡有小壁虎,我真是心驚膽跳,
我其實不是怕壁虎,但這感覺真是不舒服。
今天煮茶時發現流理台上很多螞蟻,本來以為是糖罐沒鎖緊,
結果最後發現,是因為小壁虎已經死掉多天,牠屍體上面有一堆螞蟻。
我心裡大叫,我的天哪,
哭喪著臉去起居室找老公。老公問我怎麼了,
我跟他說明情況,我拜託老公幫我處理掉那隻死掉的壁虎,
看起來真的很噁心。老公雖然也覺得噁心,
但是為了我,他勇敢地拿起塑膠袋跟厚紙板,
把壁虎裝進去,然後丟到垃圾袋。
現在想到那畫面我都還是覺得好噁心。我不喜歡廚房有壁虎啦。
 

Saturday, May 31, 2014

新繩床

 
今日終於買了新的繩床,
比之前房東附的大一點,
繩子也編得很穩固,比較好睡,
舊的繩床先放到一邊,
另外買了夏天的床單,鋪在繩床上。
 
老公另外買了一張椅子要給我坐,
說他坐瑜珈球,我可以坐椅子,
這樣去二樓陽台或是三樓天台時,也可以坐在椅子上吹風。
最後,是老公一直想要的cooler飲水器,
他說可以放冰塊進去,這樣一整天都可以喝到冰水。
家裡沒冰箱,一直以來我們都是喝溫溫的水。
 

Friday, May 30, 2014

二手野狼




經過租來機車被偷事件,
我們決定要買一輛二手的便宜機車了。
這邊租的機車狀況都差,之前是為了省錢,
但是在這邊生活還是需要代步工具才行。
關於巴基斯坦野狼機車,
繼續分享一些關於這裡機車奇怪的逸事:

一、
因為沒有油表,
顯示油是不是用完了,
所以老公都是打開油箱,
用手機的LED燈往裡面照,
確認看看汽油狀況。...

二、

機車若停外面,
會有人偷偷打開你油箱,
把汽油偷走。
所以我們有另外加買汽油鎖。

三、

天氣將近四十度的高溫,
機車停在太陽下太久,
汽油竟然會被蒸發乾。
這邊多半都是紅色野狼。



 

Monday, January 27, 2014

女孩,別怕。


「PAT,我好痛」,終於,她說,
過了半晌,PAT默默地回了訊息,
「親愛的,我知道,我也為你感到痛,真的。」
「幸好,有妳,知道我的痛。」
------------------------------------------------------------------------
「我會繼續寫作。」她說。
「很好。」PAT回著。
她將剛在鍵盤上敲下的一段文字貼到Skype上,
剛起頭,還不完整。
她說著,這一次,她也把PAT寫進來了。
因為,不知從何時開始,PAT就已經在她的故事裡了。
------------------------------------------------------------------------
與妳結緣,因為妳讀了我的文字,因此成了莫逆,
一年多的時間,好像經歷了所有人生該嘗遍的,
大悲和大喜都是那麼深刻,
一路上妳的支持和陪伴,無人可以取代,
一如往常,就如同當時在機場的相伴,送了妳上飛機。
這一次妳什麼都不用擔心,
我會為妳禱告,
所以,女孩,別怕。
女孩,別怕。

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

To Farrukh (1)


我想起,你總是急急地問我,Noor,你到底要的是什麼你說,你不懂我。去年,你不懂,我執意要留在拉合爾教書的決心,甚至不惜假結婚,你當時是被我嚇到了,你說,你願意請假趕回去,圓我一夢,但你說,你不要假結婚,你在電話中問了我一句:Would you marry me?我回答不了,無法答應你。因為我覺得我已是遍體麟傷,我沒有力氣,也不想委身自己去另一個巴基斯坦大家庭裡了。我當時阻止了你這麼做。然而,沒有告訴你的是,在當時,我已經喜歡了你。在見過你家人之後,即使是第一次見面,他們豪不吝嗇地給我毫不保留的愛,我也喜歡了你媽媽還有你妹妹。這樣一份愛,讓我惶恐,自己還有資格,再接受你還有你家人的愛嗎?我怕,怕自己不夠完美,而你,你是你家中獨子。我怎麼能讓你媽媽,去接受這樣一個不完美的媳婦。你說,我何以知道,即便是你媽媽知道所有我過去的一切,就會距我遠之,但是我不能不為你想,我真的想過,成為你的妻子,那些你描繪過的美好畫面,你說,你要帶我去吃冰淇淋,你說,你要帶我去吃沙威瑪,帶我去看手鐲的巴札,帶我去看拉合爾好多地方。我想著自己,在經過他之後,是不是真的可以就此幸福,由你帶給我這樣的幸福,我真的不知道。但是,我不能那麼自私,如果我已經喜歡了你,就要去替你設想,所以一切婚後的可能性。萬一,我的過去讓你媽媽對這媳婦和你的決定,產生質疑和不滿,萬一,我的過去讓我不是那麼容易受孕,而你,是家中獨子,我怎麼能夠,讓你,還有你媽媽,所以家人,因我而承受這一切一切。

我對你說,給我點時間,讓我想想。你說好,因你從不想逼我。但是後來,我狠下心,我對你說,不要再打給我了,也不要再對我抱有任何期待。是我,親手把你推出了門外,當時,我感覺到你的心在淌血,因我也是。你問著我,可不可以,再跟我最後一次通話,我說好,記得是,電話中,你努力笑談風聲,就像你一貫擅長的,你總是用笑容面對一切,從不輕易讓人覺察你的內心世界。

後來,我嫁了他,事後才跟你說,你看著我奔波,至今尚未與他好好安頓下來,你問我,Noor,這就是你要的嗎?我也無法回答,你問我說當初不是想要留在拉合爾教書嗎?我只說,事與願違,既然結婚了,我就不會只想到自己,心理寄掛的,又是一大票人了。
很多人,也許還有我自己,都以為,愛情幾乎是我這幾年人生的全部了,我為愛情遠走高飛,捨下一切。傻嗎?也許真是傻吧!


本來出於好奇而展開追求,最終讓我看到的,不只是愛情,不只是世界,還有自己


【我的書,我與巴基斯坦,出走】


 

The Coming of the Ship


Almustafa, the chosen and the beloved, who was a dawn unto his own day, had waited twelve years in the city of Orphalese for his ship that was to return and bear him back to the isle of his birth. And in the twelfth year, on the seventh day of Ielool, the month of reaping, he climbed the hill without the city walls and looked seaward; and he beheld the ship coming with the mist. Then the gates of his heart were flung open, and his joy flew far over the sea. And he closed his eyes and prayed in the silences of his soul. But he descended the hill, a sadness came upon him, and he thought in his heart: How shall I go in peace and without sorrow? Nay, not without a wound in the spirit shall I leave this city. Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret? Too many fragments of the spirit have I scattered in these streets, and too many are the children of my longing that walk naked among these hills, and I cannot withdraw from them without a burden and an ache. It is not a garment I cast off this day, but a skin that I tear with my own hands. Nor is it a thought I leave behind me, but a heart made sweet with hunger and with thirst.
     
Yet I cannot tarry longer. The sea that calls all things unto her calls me, and I must embark. For to stay, though the hours burn in the night, is to freeze and crystallize and be bound in a mould. Fain would I take with me all that is here. But how shall I? A voice cannot carry the tongue and the lips that give it wings. Alone must it seek the ether. And alone and without his nest shall the eagle fly across the sun. Now when he reached the foot of the hill, he turned again towards the sea, and he saw his ship approaching the harbour, and upon her prow the mariners, the men of his own land. And his soul cried out to them, and he said:

Sons of my ancient mother, you riders of the tides,
How often have you sailed in my dreams.
And now you come in my awakening, which is my deeper dream.
Ready am I to go, and my eagerness with sails full set awaits the wind.
Only another breath will I breathe in this still air,
Only another loving look cast backward,
Then I shall stand among you, a seafarer among seafarers.
And you, vast sea, sleepless mother,
Who alone are peace and freedom to the river and the stream,
Only another winding will this stream make, only another murmur in this glade,
And then shall I come to you, a boundless drop to a boundless ocean.


And as he walked he saw from afar men and women leaving their fields and their vineyards and hastening towards the city gates. And he heard their voices calling his name, and shouting from the field to field telling one another of the coming of the ship. And he said to himself:

Shall the day of parting be the day of gathering?
And shall it be said that my eve was in truth my dawn?
And what shall I give unto him who has left his plough in midfurrow, or to him who has stopped the wheel of his winepress?
Shall my heart become a tree heavy-laden with fruit that I may gather and give unto them?
And shall my desires flow like a fountain that I may fill their cups?
Am I a harp that the hand of the mighty may touch me, or a flute that his breath may pass through me?
A seeker of silences am I, and what treasure have I found in silences that I may dispense with confidence?
If this is my day of harvest, in what fields have I sowed the seed, and in what unrembered seasons?
If this indeed be the hour in which I lift up my lantern, it is not my flame that shall burn therein.
Empty and dark shall I raise my lantern,
And the guardian of the night shall fill it with oil and he shall light it also.


These things he said in words. But much in his heart remained unsaid. For he himself could not speak his deeper secret. And when he entered into the city all the people came to meet him, and they were crying out to him as with one voice. And the elders of the city stood forth and said: Go not yet away from us. A noontide have you been in our twilight, and your youth has given us dreams to dream. No stranger are you among us, nor a guest, but our son and our dearly beloved. Suffer not yet our eyes to hunger for your face. And the priests and the priestesses said unto him: Let not the waves of the sea separate us now, and the years you have spent in our midst become a memory. You have walked among us a spirit, and your shadow has been a light upon our faces. Much have we loved you. But speechless was our love, and with veils has it been veiled. Yet now it cries aloud unto you, and would stand revealed before you. And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. And others came also and entreated him. But he answered them not. He only bent his head; and those who stood near saw his tears falling upon his breast. And he and the people proceeded towards the great square before the temple. And there came out of the sanctuary a woman whose name was Almitra. And she was a seeress.
     
And he looked upon her with exceeding tenderness, for it was she who had first sought and believed in him when he had been but a day in their city. And she hailed him, saying: Prophet of God, in quest for the uttermost, long have you searched the distances for your ship. And now your ship has come, and you must needs go. Deep is your longing for the land of your memories and the dwelling place of your greater desires; and our love would not bind you nor our needs hold you. Yet this we ask ere you leave us, that you speak to us and give us of your truth. And we will give it unto our children, and they unto their children, and it shall not perish. In your aloneness you have watched with our days, and in your wakefulness you have listened to the weeping and the laughter of our sleep. Now therefore disclose us to ourselves, and tell us all that has been shown you of that which is between birth and death.


And he answered, People of Orphalese, of what can I speak save of that which is even now moving your souls?